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If you don`t like a bit of vulgarity or excessive curse words, do not read any further.
I base these monsters off hardcore mode. I don`t believe regular bnet d2 gives much of a challenge in PVM so i never play it. We all tend to opinions like we do with our assholes when done taking a shit, so don`t worry if your monster is not present here.
Gloam, Burning Soul
Well not much i can say about these invisible turds. They don`t do much damage but they annoy me. Always floating out of nowhere. You already killed the pack but somehow one fucker got a way. These monster`s are just plain puss.
9 Skeleton Archer
Skeleton Archer, Returned Archer, Bone Warrior Archer, Burning Dead Archer, Horror Archer
I guess the one thing that annoys me more with these monsters is the moaning my character makes when walking through a door. Then I have to guess where the fuck it`s coming from. Quite an annoyance. I don`t like these minion packs either. They can catch you off guard and beat you down.
Misshapen, Disfigured, Tainted, Afflicted, Damned
These bastards always wait in packs behind a door spewing out a thousand shit balls of fuck. It`s wise to open doors with care towards the end of Act 1. These are annoying, especially the lightning immuned mini boss. They can do some serious damage if their shit balls hit you all at once.
Balrog, Pit Lord, Venom Lord.
You`ll find these fuckers in hell (where they belong). Be aware of your fire resistance, one of these guys will wtf your health to half in one hit. I call these annoying because they`ve bested me a few times in Hardcore. The part where you open up the seals near Diablo, a pack of these minions will pop up, surround you, rape you, & have you kicking your dog (or whoever is in the room with you at the time). (please don`t kick dogs).
Ratman, Fetish, Flayer, Soul Killer, Stygian Doll , Fetish Shaman, Flayer Shaman, Soul Killer Shaman
I hate these little fucks, they should be near number 1 on my list, but this isn`t a hate list. Act 3 is all about beating the living crap out of these turds. It`s my least favorite act due to these pieces of shit plaguing it. That fetish Shaman has bested me before in hardcore with his fire breathe. Embarrassing to say the least. I also hate the sound they make running towards you. It`s pretty much the only monster i want to grab from my screen and smoosh in my hand and then eat it. Little fucks.
Dried Corpse, Decayed, Embalmed, Preserved Dead, Cadaver
These aren`t hard, but the green fart shit gas that comes out from their ass after dead is an annoyance. I hate when my character turns green, really bugs me. It`s annoying, stop, go, stop, go. I mean, you could carry antidotes in your bag but who the fuck does that? Green shit gas fucks.
4 Scarab Demon
Dung Soldier, Death Beetle, Scarab, Steel Scarab, Bone Scarab
Maggot`s lair is no fun with these sobs. Actually any place with these bitches are no fun. Scarab demons like to feast on my merc in maggot lair. I hate these because, well, besides being dangerous, they cost me money by sending my merc to it`s death. When killing, I usually have to back up, hit, back up, hit. It`s a long unwanted process in hardcore mode. Not cool, and not fun. Fuckers.
3 Greater Mummy
Hollow One, Guardian, Unraveler, Horadrim Ancient
Oh, how i love muscling my way through raised skeleton monster packs of fucking christmas, just to kill these fucks. Watching my stupid merc kill endless raised skeletons with a polearm up his ass. I pay these mercs to do a job damnit. Once through the massive wave of fuckness, they give you a nice dose of poison, which seems to last an eternity. These can hurt bad when in minion packs, so be careful.
Sand Leaper, Cave Leaper, Tomb Creeper, Tree Lurker, Cliff Lurker
I hate leapers.. mother fuckers. Not much to say about these. They run, fly across your screen, and don`t die. Or they die in mid air and glitch across the screen somewhere dead. They split up all over the place leaving you in a state of confusion. They barely do any damage to you and it takes a billion hits to kill these sons of bitches. Annoying when you don`t have the proper armor/weapons at the time. I prefer to skip over these, cause loot is scattered all over, and it`s all just one big cluster fuck fest.
1 Fallen/w Shaman
Fallen, Carver, Devilkin, Dark One, Warped One, Fallen Shaman, Carver Shaman, Devilkin Shaman, Dark Shaman, Warped Shaman
Well, the final number one most annoying monster. Yes, Fallen/w Shaman. These creatures annoy the fuck out of me cause well, it`s the first act, I have a toothpick for a weapon running around naked, and I`m always chasing these little cocksuckers around. Lets not make it more annoying with shamans raising these little pricks from the dead. Once you kill a fallen they all scatter like cockaroaches, screaming or praising another turd burgling leader, Rakanishu (Fuck his lightening ass too). I also love in the Den of evil when i have 1 monster left (of course a fallen) & have to circle the fucking cave a few times to find the little cock knocker. I love busting through these roaches and killing that piece of shit raising fuck shaman. I like his death sound when i own him. Den of evil bitches.
Pictures via classic.battle.net (thank you)
Article By: Saint JackieTweet
Post with 9 notes
Diablo 2 Retro Review
Once again i find myself playing Diablo 2 waiting for Diablo 3 to release.
You can download digitally or buy retail version from Blizzard below by clicking on the picture.
Price Rating 5/5 - $29.99 For the battle chest (recommended). Worth it. Comes with Diablo, Diablo 2, Diablo 2 LOD. Also nice collecting items. If you happen to have the Collectors edition of original D2, i believe it`s worth quite a bunch.
Platforms: PC, Mac
Dark Moon Rating - 9.5
Genre: Action RPG
The Good: Creepy environment. The endless playability. Blizzard really takes care of their games once released.
The Bad: If you have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, then you`re maybe fucked. Click N Shoot, Right Click, Left Click, click, click, click, clickity, fucking click.
Replay Value Rating 5/5 People still play a decade later. Diablo 2 up until this day, is still the best Action RPG out there. (Including expansion)
Last Say: At the time Diablo had some realm issues, so i assume that`s why all the reviewers had a negative feast day for it. It wasn`t stable, & it wasnt playable for moments at a time. Once problem was fixed, it was unstoppable fun.Tweet